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Teaching Your child to Deal with Bullies

Jan 26
Posted by Mritunjay in Advice, Schools

Children face different sort of problems in school and one such problem is dealing with bullies. The best method to handles bullies is by ignoring them but what if that method does not work? Parents must help children in handling such situations because being bullied is never ever a good experience and it can seriously affect self-confidence and self-esteem of the kid. The problem of bullying is almost a universal one and faced by numerous kids in schools. Times have also changed and there should be new strategies to handle such serious problems. Telling your kid all the time to ignore such problem will not work.

Parents should consult school administration in regards to such issues. The problem of bullying has been taken seriously in many schools and many educational institutions are taking strong measure to curb this menace. Some of the common steps being taken by schools are establishing anti-bullying rules and procedures, mediation between victims and bullies, stern monitoring and classroom discussion etc. Check whether, your kid’s school has implemented any such program and also offer your suggestions.

You should also focus on your kid and see what makes him vulnerable to bully attack. Make sure he has good group of friends and he stays in a group because bullies usually don’t pester a kid who is walking in a group. Encourage your child all the time to voice his objections and stand tall. No point being a silent victim all the time. Build self-confidence in the kid and he will be able to tackle any adverse situation. Teach him to look people in the eye and remain firm. Make him join a self-defense class where he will be equipped with required defense mechanism.

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The cyberspace kids

Jan 24
Posted by pankti in Advice, Schools, Teenagers

Today’s children are growing up with new technologies that are creating new generation gaps. Not only do children today breed on Youtube and Facebook, but also their world includes with video chats, digital books, video games and the likes. This accelerating pace of technology, which the children are being exposed to, is creating huge generation gaps. Children, who are in their formative stages of development, are being exposed to so much in so little time that they are ageing fast & are losing out on their childhood. The place where this generation gap is most visible is in the way these kids communicate and make their entertainment choices. Studies have shown that children as young as eight and nine SMS more often than the teenagers do! The study also revealed that the newer generation; unlike their older peers, lack patience and expect an instant response from everyone they communicate with. Because this generation is being brought up in an instantaneous communication enriched world, they also expect their parents and teachers to give them quick replies.

Children today are thriving on the virtual world. Most of them have more friends in the virtual world than the real world. They are hooked to playing video games, love isolation but at the same time are actively socializing virtually, prefer chatting than talking on the phone, communicate effectively but at the same time find it difficult to express emotions etc.

A mother of an eight year old daughter revealed that her child’s life is shaped up by technologies and high tech gadgets. She knows nothing other than a world that is full of e-books, Skype video chats, and games on the iPhone! All these facts reveal that parents need to put certain restrictions on the technology usage patterns by their kids. Try and not expose your kids to such addictive gadgets at such an early age. It is important that your child learns to play cricket (for instance) than press buttons and makes runs!

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Learning to share

Jan 20
Posted by pankti in Advice, Family, Motherhood

I recently attended a family get-together where I met my three year old cousin. She came with her doll. I asked her if she will give her doll to me and instantly she shouted “No.”Not just that, when another cousin of mine (4 year old) tried taking the doll from her, she cried and cried and created a big scene. This shows that children usually find it difficult to share their things with other people. Child selfishness is no new. I am sure many parents must have faced similar situations doubting whether their child will ever grow out of such behavior. One thing that parents must realize children are not born with a mindset that encourages sharing. It is slowly and gradually that they are taught to share and care.

The sharing instinct comes when your child starts maturing. Every child matures at his or her own speed. All that parents can do is bringing them up in an environment that encourages and influences such behavior. You need to showcase desirable actions to your children so that they can learn to live in harmony.

Many parents start calling their little one selfish in front of others. They pretend to not talk with their child until they share their things. Don’t force the child with such desperate measures. Parents need to accept the fact that there are some things that your children may not be willing to share. Give them their time. They may even start sharing when they see other children doing the same. However, if your child falls under the category where she is possessive about her things but will want and easily take away other kids’ things, then you need to make your child respect other kids’ possessions too. You need to show your child that you can share too. Also praise your child every time he shares his things.

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Protecting Children from Internet

Jan 18
Posted by Mritunjay in Advice, Safety

We all know how internet has completely transformed our lives. It is perhaps the largest knowledge base available to us humans. If you are looking for any answer, you just have to try out any search engine and you will find your answers. World has literally changed since the advent of internet. No doubt, internet is a great learning experience for every educated person. But then, no thing in life comes up without its iota of problems. Internet has arrived with some peculiar problems. Every other day, we face threats in forms of spam, malware, spyware, fraudulent mails and obscene chat rooms. No one is exempted from this threat including your children.

Children, now a day are very comfortable with usage of internet. They often surf internet for their projects or in search of new online games. But there is a distinct possibility of child visiting unsuitable websites and becoming prey to dangerous predators. Parents need to ask themselves questions like whether children are protected from such dangers. Whether child is at risk while using computer? Parents need to keep a tab on what children are viewing and who they are interacting with on internet.

Parents also need to be aware of different online chat rooms where doubtful adults join the group under the disguise of a teenager and try to manipulate a kid’s unsuspecting mind. Children will have no clue who they are dealing with actually and this might prove dangerous in the long run. Parents should keep checking such things and ask children about their online friends and their activities. Parents should be patient and tackle such issues with utmost patience. Parents should tell children not to share their personal details including address, phone number and not to meet them as well. Parents should also use special programs that take care of doubtful websites visited by children. They can always use inbuilt parent control program to safeguard interests of kids.

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Increasing suicidal tendencies in teenagers

Jan 15
Posted by pankti in Advice, Motherhood, Stress, Teenagers

It is shocking to read in the papers almost every day the rate at which students in India are committing suicides. Teenage suicide has become a growing concern among our Indian society. So what is it that triggers these young brains to take such a big step? Fast life? Stress? Depression? Loneliness? Peer pressure? Exam and study related anxiety? Issues with parents? Inability to cope with life? Or all of this? Most students today agree to the fact that they have had suicidal thoughts at least once in their life. Isn’t this scary? Well, it is high time parents and teachers need to get together and address this issue more strongly. (more…)

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Television violence and children

Jan 12
Posted by Mritunjay in Advice, Discipline

Modern age has given us many comforts but at the same time, it has also caused some concerns among parents. Television is omnipresent in almost every household. Kids love to watch TV but experts caution against negative influence of television on children. Many television programs including movies and serials etc are full of violence and this adversely affects children. It’s up to the parents where to draw the line and keep our kids safe from such influences.

Television programs of yesteryears did not use to be this violent. The contents have become more explicit. Whenever a child turn on the TV and witnesses violence, explicit scenes and obscene languages, his mind becomes vulnerable to such programs. Most of the programs on cable TV contain objectionable items. In other words, majority of television programs are only suitable for adult viewing and not for kids. There are few cartoon channels or news channels that are entertaining for kids but parents cannot always keep a tab on remote. Children love to watch television programs and especially songs, videos and movies. These programs have a very powerful influence on behaviour of the kids.

Studies show that too much of television may cause children to become numb or immune to the horror of violence. Children are unable to differentiate between real life violence and reel life violence. Another dangerous effect could be in form of reducing humane factor. Kids could also interpret that violence is the only way of solving problems.

Parents can limit the time children watch TV. Parents should also encourage kids to indulge in other more vigorous activities like sports or reading children’s books. Constant TV viewing makes mind dull. Help your kid in nurturing a hobby. Also try to keep a tab on what kids are watching and be very strict about it. Parents must get themselves involved with kids from an early age and try to nullify negative effects of TV on kids’ minds.

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Nightmares and kids

Jan 12
Posted by kamakshi in Advice, Stress

Anything that bothers our children becomes a huge matter of concern for us. Tender love and care is provided to all children and we are assured when the child is blessed with good health. As childhood is full of new things, so also the child’s immune system is developing and the most common complaint is a tummy upset or cold. The biggest cause of concern for parents is when the child is unable to sleep peacefully at night.

 Anxiety is also a very common factor about childhood. Anything new enamors a child and with it is present the right mix of positive and negative strokes. The child may love the Pre School and as it gets routine the child may develop an anxiety owing to separation with the care giver. Nothing is constant in the child’s behavior and many times these forms as night mares for children.

 When the infant cries constantly at nights, the best remedy is to offer reassurance with lots of hugs and talks. As the child grows and by five or even years they are able to gauge the surroundings very well. Their instincts get developed and a casual chat can be termed by them as a contemplative issue. Hence it is best to avoid conflict related talks in front of them. Their subconscious mind relates to certain TV programs or a fear linked viewing and they appear to scream and yell in the night.

 Many times this is shocking as their body is violent and also they repeat certain words continuously. It certainly helps not to panic and waking them up is an ideal situation. This may also happen as a side effect of a drug or general sickness. It may be very surprising to us that children are unable to link the same when they get up bright and happy in the mornings.

 

Children also face peer pressure and a certain routine takes the essence in functioning. Breaks and outings are the right of every child and get them around more sociable outings. Thus parenting is a revealing experience. Usually this is a passing phase.  If the terrors persist then seeing a doctor is advisable.

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Handling Baby Talk Problem

Jan 06
Posted by Mritunjay in Advice

Quite a large number of children face speech children. It implies that even when a kid is growing up he still talks like a baby. Parents often feel stressed about this issue but trust me; this is not an unusual occurrence. Many parents face similar set of problems but with some adequate steps and practice they have managed to solve this problem. Before you begin to take any step remember one thing, you cannot make your child to talk like a big guy overnight. It will take some time and of course, patience.

Have you observed yourself how you talk back to your child when he talks like a baby? If you talk back to him similarly as you used to when he was a baby then you need to stop this habit right away. Because, this way you are encouraging him to continue his baby talk way. You need to check your response and should probably devise a new strategy. You might think of responding to your baby by saying that, “I am not getting what you are saying. You need to convey in big guy words” or something like that. If you keep doing this for few times, child will get the message and may start trying big words after some time.

You can also sit calmly with the kid and tell him that he is now a grown up boy and should start talking like grown up kids do. There could be several such ways to motivate your child and send across your message. After certain duration, child will definitely get what you want to say and will start talking normally. Just be patient and try out ideas and soon results will be there for you to see.

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Exam pressure and stress in children

Jan 06
Posted by pankti in Advice

We may have spoken about this topic earlier on this site but due to the increasing number of students’ suicides in the country, it is important that parents play a keen role in easing the stress and pressure that most kids face during exams…

Parents need to be their child’s study buddy. What most parents do is that they “tell” their child to study. Sometimes, telling is not enough. Sit with your child, open his books, read for him, explain to him in case you feel he has not understood the concept, do not rely on “tuition teachers” as no one can teach your kid the way you do, hug him, caress him and be his best support, mentor and guide and always be available for your kids especially during exams!

Most Indian mothers do this but I will still highlight this: ensure that your child is eating properly. You may have noticed that the eating patterns in your kids will change during exams, he or she will feel puckish, giddy, or sometimes children overeat to cope with stress. Increase the intake of fruits during exams. Do not force him to drink milk or eat every two hours. This may not work. Let your child eat when he or she feels hungry. Also make sure your child sleeps properly – at least 8 hours. Avoid food that contains high-fat, high-sugar and high-caffeine foods as these products can make studying harder. One thing that parents need to be strict about is watching TV and sitting on the computer during exams. These activities are in no way helping your child to relax. Also, they are addictive and your child will not realize how much time he has wasted watching TV or chatting. Be strict and don’t allow your child to do the same especially during exams, instead take them for a walk or tell them to shut their eyes and concentrate on the breathing.

Incase your child has done poorly in the one exam; don’t let that affect the next paper. Try and keep a healthy and a happy atmosphere at home where the child can study stress free!

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